Upon perusing the Google Play store for cannabis-related applications, I discovered two pop-out themes about stoners.
First, the only apps a stoner really needs are cool live wallpapers, a dope rasta keyboard on your phone, a dispensary locator and a weed-farming game. Second, every stoner will rate an app four stars, even if their rating commentary berates every single aspect of said application.
The second discovery is problematic. If everything is four stars, how do we know which apps to choose? Thus, the Weed App Showdown 2018 was born. The contest is simple: Take all four major categories of cannabis apps and choose the strongest, most capable from among the contenders.
BEST LIVE WEED WALLPAPER
Smoke Weed USA Magic FX: The profoundly iconic American flag overlain by a shimmering, gossamer pot leaf that dances and swirls under the user’s touch. A strong contender in that this live wallpaper reaches the niche market of “hardcore conservative patriotic weed smoker.”
Marijuana Weed Live Wallpaper: Hits all the touching points of a basic cannabis wallpaper app: shoddy graphic design, sparkle effect gold lettering, a girl in a bikini, bright rasta colors, cliche pot mantra usage; a solid show pony.
Hypnotic Weed Live Wallpaper: Appreciate this app for the direct approach: Pot leaves spin around your classic black and white hypnotic spiral. Points